Sunday, June 5, 2011

Surviving

Things are a little rough at our house most days.

Jacob

At 2 and a half years old, Jacob still isn't talking. I can get him to say "Mama" and "Dada", but he doesn't call me or Justin anything. If he wants us he just whines. I think when I tell some people that Jacob doesn't talk they think I mean he doesn't speak in sentences like kids his age should because that is usually followed up with them asking me what words he says. He has 1 word: "sit". He says it usually when he sees a dog, even though we always tell him that it is a dog or a doggie.

We had him evaluated and his hearing is fine, but he is super sensitive to sounds and covers his ears a lot. Because he can't talk (and I'm pretty sure that he knows he should be able to) he gets frustrated very easily and he bangs his head on the floor or the wall when something isn't going his way - something that is really hard to see when it is the tile floor. :( I posted a few months ago with pictures of what he had done to his head when he was mad here.

We have been working with Early Childhood Intervention (ECI) pretty much since the beginning of the year and he has been making progress, but of course it feels like he isn't making nearly enough progress to get him to where he needs to be. They told us initially that he had sensory issues, but they didn't really explain what that meant. After doing some of our own research we learned that this is a big deal. You can learn about Sensory Processing Disorder here and here. Of course Jacob doesn't have all the different sensory problems, but it was nice to finally know why he wouldn't eat food (as opposed to drinking his meals) until he was 15 months old and why he is such a picky eater as well as some of the other problems that Jacob has.

The babies

Our babies are not "easy" babies. They have problems with reflux, they spit-up LOTS (and sometimes they even have projectile vomiting, I am taking Jeremy to a pediatric gastroenterologist in a couple weeks), and they have painful gas. As I mentioned to the pediatrician - when babies come in twos like this, aren't they supposed to be a little easier on mommy? They have limited time during the day when they are happy and willing to be put down on a playmat or put in a swing. And since there are 2 of them and they have an older brother who has a myriad of developmental problems, life is pretty difficult around our house.

The babies love to be held, so anytime people come over they want to hold babies and it is heaven for our little guys. As long as they aren't spitting up or having bad gas, this makes it seem like they are easy babies when other people are here.

When it is just me here with all 3 kids, Jacob gets almost completely ignored. Poor kid. Luckily there have only been a couple times when I have had to be here by myself all day. I have a helper who comes everyday to help me with the babies until the afternoon. Once she leaves I have about 3-4 hours before Justin is home from work which sometimes goes pretty well, but sometimes I am pulling out my hair by the time he finally walks in the door. Having a helper has actually done wonders for Jacob since he is able to get a little attention while the helper is here. It is also the only reason the house isn't a complete and total wreck - only a partial wreck.

I know quite a few people with twins and everyone has told me that the first 6 months is definitely the hardest. I honestly feel like things would be WAY easier to handle if Jacob were either older, or if we had had twins first. Even if Jacob didn't have all the developmental problems that he has and just was a regular 2 yr old with regular tantrums, this would be lots better. Or if the babies didn't have whatever digestive problems they seem to have. But seriously the combination of it all I sometimes feel will be sending me to the loony bin soon.

One day at a time, right? I bet you're all wishing you lived at our house.

6 comments:

Stephanie said...

Hang in there my friend! You are doing an amazing job!

sallyavena said...

I have a friend who is that area that has a daughter with sensory processing disorder. Jacob's sounds a lot like hers. She's a bit older, probably going on 6 but I might have lost track of time. If I want I can hook you up with my friend Amber and she can share notes.
Hang in there! You are amazing!

Emily said...

I can't even imagine. You poor thing. Donny has been a difficult baby, but Josie is easy and balances it out. I can't imagine having 2 Donny's and a difficult toddler too! God knows you can handle it better than anyone, so they were sent to you. There's no shame in merely surviving. As moms, it's just that way sometimes. Kevin is totally my savior when he walks in the door. Hope it gets easier and you figure things out with Jacob! You are doing good things!

White Folk said...

I love you chica and just posted a shout out to you on my blog! I truly don't know how you do it with those three boys but I too, am so thankful for your helper!

Brett said...

I hate that things are so tough for you guys!! You're definitely right - one day at a time and thank goodness for your helper. My sister has 3 (somewhat older) kids and is due to have triplets in a few months. I honestly don't know how she's going to handle those first few months. You Moms of multiples must just be extra special and more prepared to handle challenges than the rest of us!! Heavenly Father knows that I wouldn't have lasted this long had it been me with twins and a two year old. Keep up the good work!

Brett said...

I saw your comment on my blog but I don't have your email address. So I'm leaving another comment for you here. :-) We are moving in a month so that Ben can go to BYU to earn an MBA. It will be a complete change in every sense of the word, but change is exactly what we need, so we're really excited. Yeah!