Sunday, November 14, 2010

This pregnancy

Since we use our blog as a journal for our lives, I thought I would jot down a few things about this pregnancy.

First off I want to say that when I was unable to get pregnant (I almost said infertile, but we're still infertile - we just know what we have to do to get pregnant now) one of the things that I really hated was when people would say "I'm so ready to not be pregnant" or anything along those lines. It was infuriating to me because I wanted to be pregnant so badly. In fact up until this point I haven't really written about this pregnancy because I don't want to complain about being pregnant. So, I hope that as people read this, you keep in mind that I'm not trying to complain but keep a record for myself.

I think when I was pregnant with Jacob, I never loved it (I have heard of people who just love being pregnant and feel so great the whole time), but it wasn't terrible. I had morning sickness, but really only when I woke up at 6:30 to go teach class so on those mornings I took Zofran and felt fine. About half-way through the pregnancy I started experiencing a little heartburn and had to deal with carpal tunnel while I slept but each were easily remedied - Tums and wrist braces. It was a pain when I was told I had gestational diabetes, but I learned to deal with it and was able to always keep my blood sugar under control. We have no idea why I started leaking amniotic fluid at 32.5 weeks, but Jacob was able to hold out until 34 weeks to be born and although he was in the NICU for 10 days, he never had any problems.

This time around:

I started having really bad morning sickness around 5 - 6 weeks along. And I'm not sure if it is me or because I'm carrying twins but even though I felt so sick most of the time I was almost never able to throw up so I did plenty of dry heaving. Doesn't that sound lovely? Even once my doctor put me on Zofran, it only helped with the nausea but didn't totally take it away like last time. And last time I craved things like cheeseburgers and tex-mex food even in the first trimester. This time I still haven't had any cravings but especially up until around 15 weeks along I had a lot of trouble finding things I felt like I could eat and I would gag a lot while trying to fix food for Jacob. (I know a lot of people have worse morning sickness than that and I'm not sure how they survive.)

This time around my heartburn started right as my nausea was getting bad and the heartburn this time was a killer. It doesn't matter what I eat, or how slowly I eat so I am on prescription-strength Prevacid to take care of it. And if I forget to take the medicine in the morning, oh do I ever feel it in the afternoon/evening.

This time around the carpal tunnel started around week 9 or 10 and it is seriously about 10 times worse than last time. Some nights I am fine wearing the braces, but some nights I wake up without feeling in my hands and my wrists are killing me. The first time it happened I thought the braces weren't helping me anymore and I took them off for the rest of the night which proved to be a huge mistake, because by morning my hands and wrists were both so sore and numb that I could hardly grip anything and had trouble getting Jacob out of his crib and dressed. Last time I never had problems with carpal tunnel while I was awake, this time I have trouble grading papers, chopping things (in the kitchen), sometimes just trying to eat my hands start tinging and going numb. A friend who works as an occupational therapist showed me some stretches that are supposed to help carpal tunnel, but anytime I have done them I have the worst nights of all - maybe gestational carpal tunnel is totally different from regular carpal tunnel? Yesterday was by far the worst day so far with aching hands and wrists but today they are feeling quite a bit better (but still not totally fine).

I have really felt this time like I went from the feeling-awful-first-trimester to the uncomfortable-third-trimester with no wonderful 2nd trimester in between. I had almost no energy up until a couple weeks ago, but even now that I have some energy back I have to be super careful not to over-do it. When I over-do it I start feeling like I could pass out if I don't lie down and I have lower back pain later in the day (I never had back pain with Jacob).

I hope to carry the twins for another 3 and a half months before they are born, and I hope that I have the strength to make it through all of this because I know it isn't going to miraculously get better anytime before they are born.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

At the end of September when I went in for my OB visit, they did an ultrasound and told us that Baby A looked like a boy. Baby B was being especially modest. By the way, the nice thing about being a high risk pregnancy is how often I get the see the babies and make sure they are ok. I'm pretty sure I've already had a dozen ultrasounds and I just hit 20 weeks 2 days ago.

I was actually a bit disappointed because Justin and I had our hearts set on having at least one girl this time around. We had really hoped for a girl when we had Jacob, and since we don't think we plan on having any more this was the last chance. But we were hopeful that Baby B would be a girl.

Monday of last week we went in again and learned that both Baby A and Baby B are boys.

I have to admit, I had a tough week last week. I think just about everyone hopes for at least one girl and one boy when they have more than 1 child. You know if I had gotten news that I felt was exciting it would have been up here later that day, not 10 days later. But the fact that I am posting it now should say wonders about how much better I feel about our news.

I have chosen to not allow comments on this post because even though I know that people are trying to be encouraging and helpful, too many things have already been said to me that definitely don't make me feel any better. But in case you were wondering - I am grateful that we are having babies and they look to be healthy; we don't think there will be a next time so this is it; and to tell me that boys are easier and girls are just drama queens also doesn't help.

Here are our babies last week - the top picture is Baby Boy B and the bottom picture is Baby Boy A.

At least we will save some money because we won't have to redecorate the nursery at all.