Justin and Julie - Part 1

Last week was 10 years since Justin and I went on our first date together.  I posted once before (although I don't remember when) that there were 6 months between our first date and our second date (first date August 28, 2002; second date February 28, 2003) and said that I might tell why one day.  I decided that since this is my journal I would document the story - one day my kids can read it, and their kids can read it, etc.  I'm telling a long, detailed account for my own memories, so I've decided to tell it in 3 parts.

In 2002, after not caring for my job as an actuary for a little while and feeling super burnt out on having to take these terrible actuarial exams every 6 months I decided to go back to school and get a master's degree in statistics.  My plan was to open new career opportunities for myself (preferably in biostatistics) and then if I ever did get married and have children I would be able to teach at the college level with a master's degree.

I applied to 3 schools and was accepted to all 3 and offered fellowships at 2 of the 3 (BYU offers something similar but couldn't guarantee me how much of my tuition would be covered by working for them, whereas Iowa State and Florida State both could).  I decided to attend Florida State and in August of 2002 I quit my job and moved all my belongings from Houston to Tallahassee.

I actually met Justin at church about a week before classes started, and he talked to me a little the next night at Family Home Evening as well.  He seemed nice and friendly, but I was seriously just trying to get my bearings since I was starting over in a new place.  It was pouring rain as everyone was leaving FHE and Justin and another guy each had these huge umbrellas, so they were taking turns walking people to their cars.  I remember Justin walked me to my car and got my phone number (he said because he needed it as the ward clerk) before running back to help someone else to their car.

I should probably pause here and say I can't tell the story of how Justin and I started dating without also telling the story of Jared and I.

That weekend was the last "free weekend" before classes started.  One of my fellow students in the stats program had suggested we go to dinner so I was just hanging out at my new home until it was time to meet him when someone showed up at my door.  To my surprise it was Jared, who I had also met at church but hadn't really talked to much.  I never found out how he found out where I lived, but he said he hadn't really gotten to chat with me and since I was new he wanted to see how I was doing, etc.

While visiting with me he told me that his roommates and some other friends were all going to be attending a back-to-school party the next night and he wanted to make sure I knew about it.  He claimed that there would be quite a few others from our singles' ward at church and he offered to give me a ride.  I was glad to be included in something since I was new and I admit I was a little attracted to him.

The next night we went to this party and it was just weird.  The party was thrown by his roommate's mother and there were a total of about 4 of us from the singles' ward there.  Everyone else were about my parents' age or older.  Nevertheless, I felt attracted to Jared and he was quite the gentleman.  And to be honest I was a little shocked that someone seemed interested in me when I just moved there.  Let me tell you - this did not happen when I moved to Houston after BYU.

The next Monday evening (just over a week after I had arrived in Tallahassee) Jared gave me a ride to FHE and when it was over, Justin came over and said that it was his birthday and some people were taking him out for ice cream but then people were going to be meeting at his apartment to watch a movie.  I told him thanks, but I rode with Jared.  Justin then said that we were both welcome to come over and he left.  

Let me tell you, Jared did not want us to go to Justin's.  He said he didn't want to hang out with the people that would be there and he made it seem like he didn't really like anyone that might be there.  But I convinced him that it was good for me to go so I could meet more people.

Justin seemed happy to see us and after showing me his pocket PC and comparing it to my Palm Pilot (he was a geek from the start) everyone settled in to watch the movie.  Jared kept putting his arm around me and holding my hand and I felt like Justin kept looking at us, which made me feel a bit uncomfortable.  But uncomfortable in that I wished Jared would back off a little and not uncomfortable that Justin might be looking at us, if that makes sense.  I remember that by the end of the night I felt pretty aggravated with Jared, like he was trying to let people know that I was his property or something.

The next day I got a call from Justin, asking if I was free to go out the next night.  Part of me felt like I should say no because of Jared.  But I decided that there was nothing wrong with going out with Justin and I wanted to get to know him better.  That night Jared came over and I told him I was going out with Justin the next night and he was not happy.  He didn't think I should go out with anyone else and I pretty much informed him that we never said we were dating exclusively and felt even more resolve to go out with Justin.

The next day Jared surprised me by calling me a few hours before my date with Justin asking if he could meet me and talk to me.  He told me that he liked me a lot, more than he had ever liked anyone he had just met and asked me to not go out with Justin.  Even though I was annoyed about him acting so possessive a couple nights previous, I was still very interested in him and attracted to him.  I told him that I wouldn't cancel my date with Justin and that it was a little soon for us to say that we wouldn't see anyone else.

That night Justin and I went bowling on campus and then to The Pitaria for gyros.  We found we had lots in common - we were both starting masters programs, we had similar taste in movies and owned some of the same ones, as well as similar taste in music and were both fans of Guster, who most people had never heard of.

But on my part, there wasn't really any chemistry.  Justin seemed like someone I could be great friends with, but I wasn't attracted to him.

So that weekend I told Jared that I wouldn't date anyone else which he was super happy about and the next Sunday when Justin asked me out again I told him that I had also been going out with Jared a few times and that we decided not to date other people, but that I hoped he and I could be friends.

He smiled and said, "Of course we'll be friends."