So ready!!

Jacob really liked smiling for the camera here

School starts back up again for Jacob a week from tomorrow.  I think this is going to be the longest week ever!!!

Luckily, we have survived the summer.  Meaning both Jacob and I (and the twins).  I admit - there were times I wasn't sure we would make it.

Does that sound terrible?  Curious to know why?

Jacob does not follow rules or obey in almost anyway whatsoever.  He is quite stubborn and when he gets in his mind that he wants to do something he is quite determined.  If it is something I have told him not to do (like play in the sink, try to go outside in the pouring rain, etc.) I end up having to physically restrain him to make him stop whatever it is.  Many of these times he fights me by hitting me or worse - banging his head into my head or face.  Ouch!

Jacob has more words and can repeat a lot of words that we say.  This is awesome.  But the bad part is that he doesn't say most things correctly so many times it is super hard to understand what he is saying.  His speech is still approximately a year and a half behind.  He is also at a stage where he identifies things that he sees and quotes books or movies, but he doesn't really tell us anything.  He'll tell me if he wants milk to drink but he can't seem to answer the questions "What do you want to eat?", "What do you want to wear?".  And since he is approaching 4 years old, he definitely has opinions so he gets upset with us frequently when we don't know what he wants.

When he doesn't like something, we usually can't get him to use words at all.  Instead he reverts back to grunting, whining, moaning.  It is super frustrating.  I frequently have to tell him, "You have to use words.  I don't know what you want when you do that."  It doesn't seem to help, but I hope that one day it does.

Jacob doesn't seem to understand consequences.  He doesn't seem to understand sequencing - this has to happen and then this can happen.  The speech therapist we just started working with says this is easy to teach.  Hopefully that means that she's going to show me how we can teach this to Jacob.

It is super difficult for me to deal with the "special" problems we encounter with Jacob.  I know that being a mom is hard.  But being a mom of a special needs child sometimes seems like more than I can handle.  I'm not a very patient person so I feel like I spend a lot of time trying to not completely lose it.  I think that other moms who I personally know that have children with similar issues to Jacob handle their children and the struggles way better than I do.  And sometimes I need an outlet and I cave and put something on facebook about the struggles I'm having.  I know I shouldn't because I get a lot of comments back from people that aren't helpful.  I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings - I know people are trying to be helpful, but if you haven't had a child with problems like Jacob's then you really have no idea.

Again - I know all moms struggle at times.  

But I want to get to a point where struggling isn't the way of life.  I want to get to the point where we have as many good days as we have bad.  Currently we have numerous bad days and every now and then we have a good day.

I'm excited for school to start back up again because I know that they are doing things for Jacob that I can't do for him.  I'm excited for school to start back up again because it gives us a much needed break from each other for a few hours a day.

I don't want people to get the wrong idea.  I love my son.  And he is super smart.  I wish he didn't have the struggles that he has.

Last year at this time Jacob was just starting to say a few words.  I hope that in a year from now I'm able to say that Jacob is speaking in sentences and that we can understand him a lot better.